2) The story behind that blessed marriage
Inroduction
Marriage at a young age was a norm in the past centuries because people who lived at that time had different priorities, different environmental conditions and different standards
There was nothing called adolescence, there was either a child or an adult and the line between them is Puberty
1430+ years ago in Arabia people lived a hard life, there was no security, no electricity, no schools, no hospitals, no running water.
people strived to stay alive, a girl growing in such a community had no school to attend, no social activities to participate in, they had to carry responsibility early as the society needed productive individuals
So normally girls were married as soon as they become physically mature but before reaching that age they were prepared to be housewives and mothers
Marriage at the age of physical maturity was a norm at that time, but now everything is different, girls now have a luxurious life, and a nine years old now is so different from a nine years old 1500 years ago
In the west:
Age of Consent throughout history has usually coincided with the age of puberty although at sometimes it has been as early as seven..
The Roman tradition served as the base for Christian Europe as well as the Christian Church itself which generally, essentially based upon biological development, set it at 12 or 14 but continued to set the absolute minimum at seven *1
Before 1855 the Age of consent in the USA ranged between 10 and 12 except in Delaware it was 7!! *2
According to William of Tyre, Agnes was only 8 on her arrival at Constantinople, while Alexius was thirteen..
Child brides, whether Byzantines or foreign princesses, were the norm rather than the exception, especially from the late twelfth century. Irene Ducaena, wife of Alexius I Comnenus, was 12 at her marriage, and empress before she was 15; the Byzantine princess Theodora, Manuel's niece, was in her 13th year when she married Baldwin III of Jerusalem; and Margaret-Maria of Hungary married Isaac II Angelus at the age of 9.*3
While in Arabia:
Amr Bin Al'aas got his son Abdullah when he was 12 *4
Usama Bin Zaid was divorcing his wife at the age of 14 and was leading a military expedition at 17 *5
Conclusion:
These people dealt with everything differently and judging them with today's laws is not fair
That year was named "The year of Grief"
When Khadija the first wife of prophet Muhammed (peace and blessings be upon him) and the mother of his four children passed away
His Uncle and only Helper Abu Talib passed away 5 months later
Prophet Muhamed (peace and blessings be upon him) was indeed in grief and the companions didn't want to see him this say so one of them Khawla bint Hakim came to him and suggested the idea of marriage, and she had two brides in mind, Aisha the daughter of his best friend And Sawda a widow and one of the very first believers
The prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) contracted marriage with the two, consummated marriage with Sawda at the same time and waited Aisha -who was engaged to Jubair ibn Al Mut'im ibn Adi at that time- 3 years so she could be a grown up woman to make consent and consummate marriage with her
Before the wedding Aisha's Mother wanted her bride to be in the best form, she used to feed her fresh cucumber with dates to make her fatter
On the wedding day, Aisha was playing on the swing, her mother called her in the morning, handed her to the gathered women of the neighborhood who congratulated her and fixed her ornament
Then the wedding celebration started, men and women came to greet the couple and Aisha was happy and proud of her marriage as she says
Ahadith in support of this story:
Narrated Abu Salama and Yahya bin Abd Al Rahman bin Hateb:
When Khadija died, Khawla bint Hakeem the wife of Uthman bin Maz'oun came and said
O Messenger of God, will you not marry?"
He replied, "Whom?"
she said "A maiden or a non-maiden as you wish"
He replied, "Who is the maiden?"
She said, The daughter of the dearest creature of God to you,Aishah bint Abi Bakr.
He asked, "And who is the non-maiden?"
She said, "Sawdah bint Zam'ah, she has [long] believed in you and has followed you".
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) asked her to go and propose to them on his behalf.
She went to Abu Bakr’s house, Where she found Umm Ruman, mother of Aisha, and said,
"O Umm Ruman, what a good thing and a blessing has God brought to you!"
She said, "What is that?"
Khawlah replied, "The Messenger of God has sent me to ask for Aisha’s hand in marriage on his behalf".
She answered, "I ask that you wait for Abu Bakr, for he should be on his way".
When Abu Bakr came, Khawlah repeated what she had said
He replied, "She is [like] his brother’s daughter. Would she be appropriate for him?
Then Khawlah returned to the Messenger of God and told him about it, he said, "Go back to him and say that he is my brother in Islam and that I am his brother [in Islam]and his daughter is lawful for me".
She came to Abu Bakr and told him what the Messenger of God had said. Then he asked her to wait until he returned.
Umm Ruman said "Al-Mut'im bin Adi had asked Aisha’s hand for his son, and I swear to God Abu Bakr never made a promise and he hadn't fulfilled it".
Abu Bakr left and went to Mut‘im while his wife, mother of the to be groom, was with him, She said, "O son of Abu Quhafah, perhaps if we marry our son to your daughter you will bring him into the religion which you practice."
He turned to her husband Al-Mut‘im and said, "What is she saying?" He replied, "She says [what you have heard]".
Abu Bakr left, [realizing that] God had [just] removed the problem he had in his mind about his promise.
He said to Khawlah, "Call the Messenger of God" and she did
so he married/betrothed Aisha to him and she was 6 years old at that day
Then I went to Sawda bint Zam'a and said, "what a good thing and a blessing has God brought to you"
She said, "What is that?"
Khawlah replied, "The Messenger of God has sent me to ask for hand in marriage on his behalf"
She said I'd love to accept, go inside and tell that to my father
So she entered to her father and he was an old (polytheist) man who hasn't left for pilgrimage, she greeted him by the pre-Islamic greeting
He said, "who is this?"
She said, "I'm Khawla bint Hakim"
He said, "what do you want?"
She said, "Muhammed the son of Abdullah sent me to ask for Sawda's hand in marriage on his behalf"
He said, "a Efficient Noble man, what does Sawda think?"
She said, "she would love to"
He said, "call her for me", and she did
He said, "O daughter, This woman claims that Muhamed the son of Abdullah the son of Abdul Mutalib has sent her to ask your hand in marriage on his behalf and he is a noble efficient man, would you like that I marry you off to him?"
She said, "yes"
He said to khawla, "Call him to come"
So the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) came to him and he married her to him
Then Sawda's brother came back from pilgrimage and put dust on his head (to show that he is ashamed)But after he embraced Islam (he said Commenting on his action),
"I was such a fool for putting dust on my head on the day the Messenger of Allah married Sawda"
Aisha said, "We went to Medina and stayed at the home of Bani-al-Harith bin Khazraj.
The Messenger of God came to our house and men and women of the Ansar gathered around him.
My mother came to me while I was on a swing between two branches and got me down, She separated my hair which was reaching my shoulder and wiped my face with some water and started leading me till we stopped at the door, and I was gasping till caught my breath. Then she got me inside and the Messenger of God was sitting on a seat in our house
[My mother] made me sit on his lap and said, "This is your wife. May God bless you with her and bless her with you!"
Then the men and women got up and left.
The Messenger of God consummated his marriage with me in our house,
Neither a camel nor a sheep was slaughtered on behalf of me except that Sa'd bin U'obada sent a bowl of food which he used to send to the Messenger of God when he visited his wives and I was 9 years old that day" *6
Narrated Aisha:
When we came to Medina, the women came to me when I was playing on the swing, and my hair were up to my shoulders. They brought me, prepared me(for marriage), and decorated me. Then they brought me to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) and he took up cohabitation with me, when I was nine.*7
Narrated Aisha,
My mother intended to make me gain weight to send me to the (house of) the Apostle of Allah (). But nothing which she desired benefited me till she gave me cucumber with fresh dates to eat. Then I gained as much weight (as she desired). *8
1) Journal of Psychology & Human Sexuality,Volume 16, Issue 2-3, 2005,Age of Consent A Historical Overview pages 25-42
2) The encyclopedia of social reform, William Dwight Porter Bliss,page 9
3) http://www.roman-emperors.org/aggiefran.htm
4) Al Tareekh Al Kabir by Imam Bukhari 5/5 and Sear Aa'laam An-Nubalaa 3/80
5) At-Tabaqat Al Kubra 4/66
6) Musnad Ahmed 42/501
7) Sunnan Abu Dawud: Book 41, Hadith 4917
8) Sunnan Abu Dawud : Book 28, Hadith 3894
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